Relationship Goals

Updated: Feb 7

We are now entering February and for most of us the first thought is Valentine's Day. The day of “love.” We start seeing the aisles in stores filled with the bright red and pink hearts and every candy is shaped as a heart.

For some, this day is fun and exciting! For others, you wish this holiday didn’t even exist.


For years, I had loathed this day because of the hype and the way I felt that culture had portrayed you “needed” someone in order to be loved. I knew I was as single-as-a-pringle, but I didn’t need a national holiday to remind me of this.

Can I get an amen for the ladies and gents who understand this feeling?

It’s not a fun feeling, nor can it be a great feeling when you’re single in the church. So hear me out to the ones who are currently single: you are not less than the married person. You are not less than the one who is dating or getting engaged.

You are equal in your Father’s eyes and so loved by Jesus.

I am in a relationship (boyfriend/girlfriend season) and it would be easy to be like “Sarah, you’re in a relationship now - how could you understand?” Everyone’s story is different, but I do understand believing in the lie while being single that you are missing out, that you are not qualified, or have experienced the “stigma” of being single and a Christian for many years.

Being single can create this false identity that we cling to. It can even become an idol in our lives because we have put a “status” over who God created us to be.

We idolize the idea of who this future person could be or what our life could be like once they come.

The higher the idol though, the greater the fall. It can lead to heartbreak, it can ruin friendships, or worse, it can affect our relationship with our first love, Jesus.

“This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.” 1 John 4:9-10

This is love. God sent His Son to come to reconcile and have a relationship with US. With you. He created you. He formed you, and His love for you is intentional.

If you’re single right now, take heart, friend. He isn’t withholding you from anything. He knows your heart and hears your cries. Embrace who He has created you to be. Yes, tell Him your heart's desires, but trust Him in the process and journey. Surrender it all to Him so you know the fullness of His love for you.

This message isn’t just for the single.

This is for those dating, engaged, married, and so on. Because our happiness cannot be based on an earthly person. It isn’t based on our relationship status, it’s about God. We know the blessing and the gift that comes from the Gift-Giver, but if we put our identity and hope in a person we are forgetting our first love, Jesus.

Who you are should not be based on what you do or what you don’t have. You are loved - not because of your relationship status or lack thereof.

You are loved solely because you are GOD’S BELOVED. You are WORTHY to be used by Him in every season you are in.

A few years ago, I wrote a “love letter” for a group of youth girls on Valentines Day about the love of the Father for them on the hallmark holiday. It was written when I was single and it reminded me that I was His beloved. I believe the Lord is the author of this letter intended for everyone.