Over 60 million abortions have been performed since 1973.
Every 90 seconds a child is aborted in America. That is 320,000 children per year. Under federal law, it is legal to abort a child up until birth.
1 in 3 women have had an abortion.
I am 1 in 3.
I believed in “my body, my choice.” I believed a pregnancy upon conception was just a clump of cells until an actual heartbeat could be detected. I believed that abortion was a safe backup plan to my sex-filled life. I believed abortion was normal. I believed abortion was always an option. I also believed in God, and in the false grace lie that whatever I do, I would be forgiven and could continue living my life the way I wanted to, with no accountability and no consequence to the decisions I was making.
I felt like I was invincible.
Until I had an abortion.
Before I continue any further, let me be clear; this is NOT a political debate. I am writing this series because I believe if you have had an abortion that your story matters. I believe that God wants to heal the hearts and souls of every woman and man that have been silenced and have been left to sit in the shame and regret of having an abortion. However, if you are reading this and have not had an abortion, my prayer is that your heart be open to understand why some women make that decision, and that when they do, pain and extreme brokenness is inevitable.
The world has silenced us with the deception that we can return to our normal lives after having an abortion. However, the world has also implied that if we experience any mental health or post abortive side effects, its a made-up phenomenon to dissuade others from seeking an abortion. Supposedly, “experts” haven’t found any evidence to suggest that emotions linger or have a lasting impact on mental health post abortion.
And although it may be up for debate, thousands of women have been traumatized by their abortion experience. Including me. This is something that I believe we can no longer ignore. The side effects of abortion are real, and our stories should not be dimmed down to a “lie” or us seeking “attention.”
Simply put, we are crying out for healing.
I write this because I want to break the cycle of suppressing and ignoring our emotions regarding our experience. I want to break off the fear that holds us hostage and break the lies that the only focus of our stories is about having an “abortion.” It’s always been more than that. Abortion has affected my identity in every way. And even though we live in an age where there is mental health acceptance, I personally continued to suffer in silence because we also live in a time of extreme political division. Abortion has been a long term hot topic and the focus of many current debates. I believe that in order to make it so that women and men are comfortable sharing their stories and emotions, it is time for us to set aside our political views and become a compassionate ear and a loving heart to those who have been hurting silently.
Because we all deserve healing.
I want to share with you some post abortive side effects I have experienced:
Anger
Anxiety
Alcohol Abuse
Depression
Eating Disorder
Frozen Emotions
Grief
Guilty around other babies
Insomnia
Nightmares
Overworking
PASS (Post Abortive Stress Syndrome)
Shame
Suicidal thoughts
There are so many memories attached to each one of these side effects I experienced. I did not like who I had become after my abortion. I originally thought that my abortion would be out of sight and out of mind afterwards as the Doctors told me that I could return to my life normally. Normal never happened after and returning to my life as it was, well it was impossible. My abortion hurt me deeply. I ended up in a vicious cycle that destroyed me mentally, physically and spiritually. I never knew that I could get help. It was never discussed as an option for me.
To the world I may be “1 in 3” but to One (God), I am His world. No longer do I allow the statistical label to be a part of my identity.
I have been able to move forward in true freedom because Christ has restored my weary soul. I know that I am a child of God. And so is my child who was aborted. My healing took a lot of time, but God unraveled the true meaning of forgiveness, and what it means to forgive myself.
In the next few weeks, I will unravel the depth of healing in my story for you. But today, I am here to remind you that if you have not received help for your healing…You are not alone! I want to pray and encourage you to not wait a moment longer to begin your healing journey. You are strong and courageous. You deserve forgiveness, love and to live a life filled with happiness. God wants to set you free from every shackle and chain. You are worthy of it!
“I acknowledged my sin to you, and I did not cover my iniquity; I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the LORD,” and you forgave the iniquity of my sin. Selah.” Psalm 32:5
“There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit.” Romans 8:1
“In my distress I called upon the LORD; to my God I cried for help. From his temple he heard my voice, and my cry to him reached his ears.” Psalm 18:6
~ Stefanie Rodriguez
RESOURCES:
Support After Abortion Hotline: 844-289-4673
International Helpline for Abortion Recovery: 866-482-5433
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-8255